175 “Before you tell me the whole story,” she emphasized the penultimate word, “just let me do something for you. There are sentimental and traditional deferences and reverences, I know, between father and son; but that’s just exactly what prevents the development of an easy friendship. You know my fixed determination. Neither would she allow herself to feel guilty nor would she allow him to find a way into the house. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. He could not quite make her out; a new type. The cold air gave her gooseflesh under her red brocade dress as she slipped outside. But not once in these ten years had they borne blossom or fruit.
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